The Voice Within Me ....

the very idea of taking the road less travelled has always fascinated me .....this is one of my first poems ,written on this very spirit.

as the class sleeps,
the lecturer in front of me speaks ,
with contribution by some geeks,
there's a voice within me which longs to be heard.


as people around me yawn,
with their concepts thoroughly drown,
some thinking about porn,
there's a voice within me which longs to be heard.

as my patience goes for a ride ,
my temperament thoroughly tried,
with the shattering of my pride,
there's a voice within me which longs to be heard.

as I see,
flash cards being read,
gossips being shared,
no one bothered or cared,
there's a voice within me which longs to be heard.

as I listen to him(the inner voice);

he seems pretty clear ,
about I not belonging here,
he says,with time not on your side,
emotions within you will no longer hide.

stand up,get up,take your stride,
follow your heart, to that chosen ride ,
walk the road less travelled ,
leaving behind everyone settled.

it's all about taking the first step,
it's all about putting thoughts to an effect,
if u happen to think about this whenever,
remember its now or never!

when you take a decision ,you also choose the consequence

mein aur meri kavita-2

the other day i saw a woman running in the middle of the road.in a hurry,carrying something in her hand .and just couple of minutes later i saw a school bus,speeding past me away .the very superposition of these two images ,coupled with some assumptions , gave me goosebumps and led this poem ...

running up the lane,
gasping for breath;
drops of perspiration on her forehead,
that concern in her eyes;
healthy,middle-aged and in a hurry,
was that lady in a saree.

it looked a bit awkward,
running in the middle of the street going upwards.
it looked a bit strange,
looking at those expressions on her face.

and then...

she suddenly stopped in the middle,
helplessly,looking at the school bus;
that vroomed,zoomed and sped away.
and thats when my gaze fell on her hands,
that gripped a tiffin box and a water-bottle,
tightly in their gasp.

awed i stood there looking at her.
not knowing what to say,
not knowing what to do .
thousand emotions running through my mind;
for strange are the forms of a mother's love.

all i did was all i cud
salute that spirit of motherhood...

mein aur meri kavita

this sem i did something which i never thought wud b able to do ...writing poems (nt exactly bt something closer to that )...

being an LLP *(latak latak ke pass )*for the most part of my education career,i never gave it a serious thought ..and still dont ...but then there are circumstances (read :FT ,MATHS lecs ),which forces u to do things and the outcome can be surprising .

my poems are still amatureish ,still kiddish ...but at the end of the day they r mine ...so that doesnt matter ...time will have its due effect of betterment ....

wrote this in one of the maths lecs ...

i carried u for 9 months,
shaping a new soul ,a new life within me;
for the greatest gift of god i was,
which they called -mother .


the first kick,the first sensation,
that radiance,that feel,
every passing moment, i felt every bit of you;
those magic moments i cherished,
bonded me stronger with you.


you filled the void within me ,
with beauty of life,with gallons of love.
perhaps this was the moment in life ,
for which every women thrived.

but then
they called me a prostitute ,a whore;
without really understanding my core.
they called me names -
that wud put a women to shame ;
for surrogate i was,
just b'coz a surrogate i was!

yes there was a compulsion,
for money as i mention.
before reaching a conclusion ,
trust me ,
there was always an element of altrusion.


destiny has its own ways,
for strange rules the creator lays ;
tomorrow u may be miles away,
but for u, my son
my heart will always have a place ...

murga ban ...kaan pakad

apologies for my absence for a long time ....specifically to those who actually gave a visit to this blog in this span of time ..

its not that i had nothin to write , infact i hav lots to say.this whole sem has been gr8...wunderful learning experiences ....and i my next couple of blogs will try and share some of these ....so all u folks get ready for some gyan from the agyani himself ...

10:30hrs IST

focus ..i said.drops of perspiration appearing on my forehead .i was thinking hard .desperately searching through my memory device ,it had to be somewhere there ..i closed my eyes and tried to concentrate ....

24 hrs before.......

i call up vinayak ,a casual call just to check the "enthu level" in the college ....."external aaya nahi hai ...sab log upar baithe hain .."he informed.after a brief discussion about each other's strategic position, we end the call .next one hour passes by just staring at my WST copy as my mind refuses to grasp any thing -it usually doesn't. after lazying around for another two hrs i decide its time to call vinayak for another round of our usual conversation .... i strt off saying the usual" kitna hua??". "phati padi hai yaar . khadus external hai .phaad raha hai ...chandan aur apte ab takk aaye nahin bahar...ek ghanta ho gaya .. suddenly i feel a rush of blood ..knowing i was still not done with even 10%of the syllabus ..

the next couple of hours i try and read as much as i can ...in between call up gurtej ,bhadri and rest of the chaps to know abt the siuation (ppl never do this specially when u r down ...it just adds to ur problems )...it didn't take time to realise that my condition was hopeless ...more bad news flows for the rest of the day as gawde is called again the next day ....the rest of the day flies by without nothing really constructive,concrete .finally at 1 hr past midnight i resign to my fate..hoping to catch up with some sleep

6:00 hrs IST

she arrived right on time .i could see her there, in bright maroon,her lean slender body,that grace.,that aura around her ,what a beauty she was . she approached near... my mind started its usual mechanics and calculations and with an immaculate sense of timing i jumped on to her . my first instinct was to turn right but at the very last second i decide to take a left and with a finish which would put even powell to shame i reach there- u know wat getting a window seat in a local train is difficult believe me .

7:30 hrs andheri stn ...
having reached andheri station on time i heaved a sigh of relief ...finally i was going to be on time ....with mom and dad out of town i had serious doubts abt me getting up on time ...with none of the rick guys ready to come to bhavans ,i decided to walk down...somehow it felt like walking upto a guillotine.. a prisoner about to be beheaded .deep inside i was nervous ..hundreds of thoughts bombarding through my mind ...its a feeling a prey gets just before getting hunted .....the world around me seem to have slowed down ..my god what was happening...

back to original time ..
the problem was ,i had connected the circuits but somehow couldn't recollect how to trigger it.or did i even know how to??i tried hard to ask bhranti on the other table ,but she was too focussed to even entertain .
roll no.39,40,41...called out rjm .the time had come to date the demon ,my first encounter with VIVA's

DATE WITH THE DEMON :
as i entered the room the demon ,one mr. mane was busy taking viva's of the previous group.he just handed me a blank page and said "SMPS". that meant i not only had to draw a diagram of something i never knew was in the syllabus ,even explain it ..."pardon me sir " was all i cud reply back ....SMPS he thundered ...i knew i was dead.

all i knew abt "smps "was that it was used in the CPU ...thats it blank ...i contemplated drawing a cpu and show some part as smps..all this while i cud hear the group before me being butchered.i was trying hard ..to atleast remember the name of the chapter...but was just blank ...

my time had come ,to meet the demon ,eye to eye,man to man ...he was abt middle aged ,dark in complexion, bulky frame ,a bull- doggish face,and yes a
very negative aura arnd him ...

to be contd....

“Performance leads to recognition. Recognition brings respect. Respect enhances power. Humility and grace in one's moments of power enhances dignity of an organisation,”
-n.r.narayana murthy

pain is temporary ...quitting last's forever.

--lance armstrong